Tips for Talking to Children and Adolescents About Current Events
As adults, we are all trying to stay informed and gain a deeper understanding of recent news stories including the ongoing pandemic, economic fallout, social justice movement, violence at the Capitol building, and a second impeachment. Those of us who are parents are also trying to figure out the best way to talk to our child or adolescent about these current events. Here are tips that you can use to help your children understand events in the news:
Find Out What They Already Know
Ask questions to find out what he/she/they know about a recent event. You can ask what he/she/they have heard at school, from friends, as well as what they have seen on social media. Start with open-ended questions like: “What have you heard about it?” or “What do you think about these events?”
Listen carefully. It is important to give children your full attention and listen intently when they do speak. For some children, hearing about an upsetting event or natural disaster might make them worry about their own and loved ones’ safety. Focus on the questions your child or adolescent asks, and information he/she/they share so that you can help them understand what is going on and gauge his/her/their emotional response.
Follow their lead. If your child or adolescent doesn't seem interested in an event or doesn't want to talk about it at the moment, don't push them. You can revisit the topic at another time. It is important not to avoid talking about events but instead to vary your level of detail based on your child.
Answer Questions Clearly and Honestly
Consider your child's age and development. Most kids realize the news is real by the time they are 7 or 8 years old. Provide age-appropriate information and take their temperament and maturity level into account. Share only as much as your child or adolescent needs to know and offer details based on his/her/their interest level.
Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know. It is okay, to say that you don’t know a lot about a topic or have an answer to a question but that you will think about it or get back to them. Better yet, invite your child or adolescent to research a topic further together, which will allow you to demonstrate how to go about looking for more information (be mindful of appropriate and trustworthy resources).
Consider your own reactions and preplan if helpful. Your children will look to the way you handle the news to determine their own approach. If you stay calm and rational, likely they will as well. Some parents find advanced planning makes discussing current events with their children easier and therefore preplan and practice to themselves or with another adult. However, it is important not to hide your feelings or discomfort about difficult events/topics, and by tolerating discomfort you’re modeling an important skill to your children.
Set Limits
Be mindful of difficult news your child hears and sees. Regulate how often you discuss the news in front of your children. Additionally, limit your child’s exposure to graphic photos, as children are more affected by images than words, and repetitive images can make events appear widespread and closer to home.
Limit Your Child’s Media Exposure. Tell your children that you don't want them to have constant exposure and to set ground rules on devices and social media (both amount of time and type). Moreover, consider turning off automatic news notifications from the devices used by your children.
Promote the importance of self-care. We all need to take breaks from following the news. It is important for everyone, adults included, to make sure we get outside, physical activity, good nutrition, enough sleep, and connected with others.
Plan, Help, and Monitor Emotions
Talk about what you can do to prepare or help. Create family plans or discuss ways to protect yourself and others against things like natural disasters or illnesses. Additionally, look for ways that your family and others can and have helped (such as wearing a mask in public, volunteering at a local foodbank, attending a Black Lives Matter protest, or collecting donations for a homeless shelter). These discussions and actions will give everyone a greater sense of control.
Monitor emotions and responses. Validate your child’s or adolescent’s feelings. Parents can often help their children process stressful situations and find positive coping strategies. Reach out to your networks for support.
Although it may feel unnerving to have conversations about troubling news with your children, refraining often leaves them on their own to figure things out, and they become vulnerable to misinformation, misunderstanding, and confusion. Therefore, it is important to have open conversations with your child or adolescent about what he/she/they hear and see on the news. Parents can help children grow and understand the world around them by talking through difficult topics with them.
If you or a family member has emotions that impede on the ability to function and process emotions, you/he/she/they may benefit from therapy. Contact mental health professionals, such as Formative Psychological Services (www.fpschicago.com), today.
Additional Resources:
For more ways to you talk with your child about the tragic news in the world, check out 10 Ways to Talk to Kids About Events in the News
For more on how the news can impact kids, check out News and America's Kids: How Young People Perceive and Are Impacted by the News
For ways parents can disrupt and fight racism, check out 10 Anti-Racist Resources For Parents
To find a therapist in your area, check out Psychology Today